“Go to the Brenke fish Ladder” someone says. “I don’t know exactly what it is. It is a place to go and think about what you’re missing, what fulfills you, what’s authentic, what are your needs.”

I picture the Brenke Fish Ladder as a sculpture, as a horizontal metal fish spine a few feet off the ground, silver, arcing but ridged like a ladder that is also a water fountain, splashing and making droplets that ping.

What do I need, I wonder. In my imagination, I stick my hand between metal vertebrae and feel the water. I need to feel alive. My antennaes are up, and I’m waiting for a signal.